a moment to myself

Today I witnessed my son’s first real panic attack.  He is 3 years old.  I don’t really have words for this.  He made the craziest face.  He wanted to cry but he was too uncomfortable to cry.  He wanted to “be normal” in a room full of kids that he didn’t feel okay around.  He wanted to be okay.  I could see it all in that face he made.  He wanted to cry but he didn’t.  He breathed rapidly… he told the teacher he was “all finished” and he came to me.

I have so much more to say and absolutely no energy.  That face he made has sucked away all of my energy.  All week I’ve been strong for him… and strong for my daughter.  My husband is sick ..and all week it has just been me.  I’ve had to cook, clean, take care of babies, etc. etc.  The only thing keeping me going is the 30mg of Prozac I am taking.  Tonight, I am crying… sobbing. I can barely make it through my work.

Blogger world.. if you pray- pray for me… and send me positive thoughts and energy.  I need to feel the good vibes you all have.  Thank you.

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